So Near Yet so Far
by Neko Sakura
Summary: What if Li and Sakura married? What if their marriage wasn't a fairy tale? What if somebody actually wrote an original fanfic about S+S? Find out in this story.


**So Near Yet so Far**

I woke from my daze to see Li starting to leave.It's hard to tell the difference between reality and that world of pain.Depression does that to you.I just want this pain to end, before only Kimiko kept me fromletting myself go.Now even she was gone.I needed to talk this time.It couldn't go on anymore like this.

_I am standing in the shadows_

_Watching you cry_

_I long to reach out and touch you_

_But I'm afraid, afraid to fall from my high_

Li Syaoran, president of the Wolf Entertainment Inc.©, checked himself in the mirror before heading out.The mirror showed a pair of brown eyes flecked with gold staring back at him, the light shone of his gold Rolex, a man clad in a neatly pressed Italian suit.He was going to a meeting with his board of directors.They were insisting that their new toy the "magical fortune cards" were the next best thing.He doubted it.The U.S. industry was taking over the Japanese toy market.These were tough times now.Every wolf for himself now.

He heard a raspy sound as if words were uncustomary to the speaker.He turned to see it was from his wife.His cool eyes surveyed her.She used to be beautiful.She still was.Auburn hair tumbled down her back as slim hands cradled milk white skin.The only thing wrong with this perfect picture was her eyes.Damn her eyes.It hurt whenever he looked at them.They used to be sparkling and full of life.Now they were dull and full of pain.He didn't want to be in pain too.It had hurt so badly for that brief period of time.He knew now.He distanced himself from her, hoping it would stop the pain.

_You are so near, yet so far_

_It's taken me so long to build my wall_

_I don't want to let it fall_

_You are so near, yet so far_

He was going to leave, and I wouldn't have time to say what I needed to say."No!" I shouted hoping it would make him stay.There once was a time when he could just read my thoughts.Now he was so distant, so cold.My feelings were the farthest thing from his mind.All I needed was love.I didn't care about the gifts he showered on me.As if that could be a substitute.A faint ", stop," was all I can manage.My soul ached to be free.It's hard to pull my thoughts together anymore.Fate would not wait.I whispered ", hold me Li.Just hold me for once."

_I can see the tears in your eyes_

_Yet I cannot reach and brush them away_

_I can feel you ache_

_Yet I can't take away your pain_

This time Li's irritation could not be kept in.

How dare she try to loop him in that….that……..**EMOTIONAL** bind of hers.He would not stand for that.He couldn't.He didn't want to.Did he?As he struggled to put in words how he really felt from his mouth slipped these words", If you excuse me I have to go.If you need anything call the my assistant."

Sakura stepped back as if she had been slapped.He would never get what she was feeling.Never.Realization dawned upon her.

"You don't love me anymore do you?Am I just something that you used to adore, then gotten tired of and hid in the dark closet?"

Contempt obvious on his face.Ice dripped down his voice."I am bound to you by a piece of paper stating you are my wife.Nothing more."

Li mentally slapped himself.That was cruel.Maybe too cruel.

_ _

_You are so near, yet so far_

_It's taken me so long to build my wall_

_I don't want to let it fall_

_You are so near, yet so far_

That had hurt even more.It was no use anymore.I could not go on."Go," I said wearily.I gave up.Casting one last look at me, Li walked out thedoor and went out of my life forever.I rose from the couch to see his figure disappear in the rain.I turned and glanced at every part of the house, every little thing.I even looked into Kimiko's old nursery.The windchime still rung.I went into my room, and took out my wedding dress.I struggled into it as the satin and taffeta obscured my view.It meant everything to me.I wore it the day I married the man I loved.I'm going to wear it the day I stop loving forever.It was hard to climb on the top of the roof but I managed.The wind tousled my hair, blowing the strands into my face.I swallowed my breath and leapt off the roof to let the wind catch me and take me to an island in the sky where love is always kept and always returned.

_You'll smolder out like a fallen star_

_With no dreams, no hopes, and no love_

_That smile of yours will fade_

_Maybe things would have been different if I hadn't been _

The gardener paused from his planting to see a handsome young man go by.His gray suit looked out of place in this flower-studded garden of rest.The gardener hobbled to where the young man was bowing his head.The young man took a branch of a sakura and laid it on the headstone.When the young man went away the gardener peered at the headstone.On it was inscribed only five words

_………………so near yet so far_

_ _

Author's Note:

*Nona runs away*

I'm sorry I killed Sakura off.I just felt like writing this because no one to date has yet explored the possibility of Sakura and Li marrying, but not having that fairy tale marriage.Oh and I dedicate this to all my friends and Kimiko because now she's finally in a fic.I wrote the song especially for this fic? Do you like it? 


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